The Chocolate Cards
by Pzanna
Summary: I have no real explanation for this story, it is just funny, read it and rate it.
1. Default Chapter

THE CHOCOLATE CARDS Warning: If you haven't seen the following movies or read the following books parts of this Fan fic may be confusing to you: Lord of the Rings The fellowship. Monty Python search for the holy grail. Harry Potter and the sorcerers stone. The Kit Kat commercial, Give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that kit kat bar! That is about all. Ehh Hem, My spokes person, Seto Kaiba would like to say a few words to start us off. Kaiba- I would? Yami Bakura runs up and wacks him hard in the face with a raw steak. Kaiba- Oh yeah I would. Pzanna does not own Yugioh, she finds it very humorous and would like to dedicate this fanfic to all the characters of the show who are so very funny. She also does not own Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or any other movie that may appear or be mentioned I this fanfic. Also if you don't like the beginning of this fanfic, read it anyway it will be worth it in the end. We guarantee! I would also like to add that when I get my hands on that Bakura My blue eyes will to wipe the floor with him. Bakura pops up from no where-No they won't! Kaiba- Grrr come back here you steak wielding, mop head! Pzanna- my spokes person ran away! Well without further a do you can read the fanfic. The Days of Weirdness  
  
Our dream.. Oops! Our story starts in a large stone church. A congregation that has gathered is held in spell bound awe as the beautiful Mai Valentine gracefully walks down the aisle. Ger flowing, white gown embroidered with purple and blue shimmering stars is the envy of all the women present. As she ascends the steps at the front of the church and sees who is standing there she lets out a scream of terror. This is a wedding incase any of you were wondering. The reason she has just let out that scream of terror is apparent once you see who is standing in front of her. Joey Wheeler, in a puppy dog suit. Noooo! Mai screams and turns to run from the church. But Wait! For some reason she is unable to move. In fact the carpet that she is standing on has just been painted with a fresh paint of carpet cement and now her knee high boots are cemented to the red carpet. Then Joey moves forward takes her hand and the minister begins to recite the usual wedding ceremony and.. AAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! Mai awakes, screaming in terror. Mai- Oh! It was just a dream. Few I'm never eating three of Joey's chocolate bar and potato chip omelettes before going to bed again. (Why was Joey in my dream?) Just then the flap of her tent unzips and in pops the heads of Yugi, Tea and Joey. Yugi in his little concerned voice- Are you okay Mai? Mai - yeah I'm fi.. ( Mai sees Joey) I'm. I-I'm.. (points at Joey) You!!! Joey- Uh, Mai? Mai: You! Go away! (pointing at Yugi) you go too. Tea! Come in! Tea: Mai, what's wrong? Mai: I had a dream about, well. about.. Tea: about who? Come on spit it out! Mai: About. ( blushing) About Joey. Tea: (snorting laughter) Joey? Mai: yes. (she tells Tea her dream) Tea: (Turning red from holding in her laughter) Well, Mai heehee That's just so funny! Mai: Well I'm glad you see it that way. (in an obviously annoyed) Tea: Geeze, I didn't know you took your dreams so seriously! Mai: (acting mysterious) All dreams have some meaning. Tea: OK, well you figure your out, I'm going back to bed. See you in the morning!  
  
Back at the boys tent. Joey: Yugi, Mai is worrying me. She seemed so angry with me! What did I do to her! Yugi: Joey I wouldn't worry about it. She probably just had a nightmare. Did you hear her scream! Suddenly Tea enters the tent. Yugi: (blushes) Uh, Hi Tea. Joey: what are you doing here Tea? Tea tells them Mai's story. Joey: Gaaaah! No wonder she didn't want me near her! All of a sudden they all hear a voice say "AND WHEN I FIND YOU I'LL EAT YOU ALL!!!" But it was just Tristen talking in his sleep.  
  
The next morning while everyone except Mai is eating Joey's chocolate and potato chip omelettes, they hear a helicopter. The helicopter lands in a near by clearing. Out jumps Kaiba, Mokuba, and Pegasus! There is something weird about them though. I can't quite put my finger on it. Authoress: Yugi. Yugi: I'm being called by God! Yes Lord? Authoress: ( haha this is great!) Yugi! What is strange about Kaiba and Mokuba? Yugi: can't you figure it out?! They are dressed just like Pegasus! Authoress: Thank you Yugi! Yugi: (That was WEIRD) Joey: Yugi! Duck! So we can watch them! Every one else is also ducking. Pegasus: Well, Kaiba boy, is this a good spot? Kaiba: Yes, Uncle, this will be perfect! Pegasus: Mokuba will you do the honors? Mokuba bends down and pulls from his backpack a golden box. Inside the box is a deck of cards. Kaiba: OK, this is my newest invention, and I need your opinion on it. Mokuba: YAY! Something new! Pegasus: Well what is it? Come on Kaiba Boy don't keep us in suspense! Kaiba: call me that again! Go ahead! I DARE YOU! Pegasus: my, my Seto! Such a temper! Mokuba: (we better get this over with before they kill each other! How are we related again?) Come on lets see it! Kaiba: OK here it is this is my new invention. Chocolate Dueling Cards! Suddenly Bakura pops out of nowhere. Bakura: Did someone say chocolate? I LOVE CHOCOLATE!!!! Ducking behind the bushes Yugi and Joey grimace as they remember. Flash back At Domino High the gang meets after school to plan what they are going to do. Tristen: I hear there is going to be a festival of chocolate this weekend. Maybe we should bring Bakura too. I hear he loves chocolate. For some reason Shadi is there and he over hears them. Shadi: Not a wise decision my friend. Joey: Why not? Shadi: Bakura possesses the millennium ring. The ancient spirit inside it loves chocolate. Yugi: so? Shadi: If you take Bakura with you his Yami will appear, and will destroy all the chocolate! Tea: Oh no! Nothing could be worse! Tristen: Yeah, like a massacre of the chocolates. Yugi: We can't let that happen! Shadi: Oh no he's coming! (Shadi disappears with a pop) Yugi: Hi Bakura! Bakura: Hi Yugi, Guys! Tristen: Bakura are you doing anything this weekend? Bakura: well I was planning to go to that festival of Chocolate. Joey: Oh no, you don't want to go there! I heard that's a rip off. Bakura: A rip off..? Joey: the chocolate isn't real, it's just flavored. Bakura: Oh. Tea: But I heard there is going to be a festival of vanilla over in Bomino. All the boys stare open mouthed at her. Yugi: Tea! You would go to Bomino!? Tristen: That's Domino's archrival! You can't go there! Tea: Oh, sorry I forgot! All the boys roll their eyes as if to say " How could you forget?" Joey: well why don't we just hang out at Yugi's! Bakura: All right. That works. See ya guys then! As Bakura walks away Yami Bakura takes over * silly mortals, as if they could keep me from my one love: CHOCOLATE!!* Saturday morning Joey and Tristen go to Yugi's house. They ring the doorbell. Ding-Dong Yugi opens the door. And sees two giant chocolate bars that he guesses are Joey and Tristen from the blonde mops sticking out of one and the brown unicorn horn sticking out of the other one. Yugi-What are you doing?! What about Bakura? Tristan- Bakura is sick Yugi, he ate too much chocolate pudding. So now we can go to the Chocolate Festival. So lets go! Joey- Yeah they said it's all you can eat, but they don't know all I can eat! Yugi- OK hold on, I'll be right back! Yugi runs up stairs and changes, He returns dressed as a..  
  
Joey- Teddy Bear? Yugi is that you? Yugi- This is the only Chocolate outfit I have! (Yugi is dressed as a giant chocolate teddy bear.) Joey- OK come on buddy boy! (he says in a very bad Tigger voice) But when they reached the chocolate Festival.....  
  
Weevil came running out! Weevil- Help! Help! He poured Chocolate on my grasshoppers! Oh my poor grasshoppers! Tristan runs up to Weevil. Tristan- Who Weevil, Who? Weevil- (sob) that white haired freak! Joey- Who Pegasus? Weevil- no! That crazy English guy! He poured chocolate on my grasshoppers! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! Yugi- Uh-oh! That sounds like- All three together- Bakura!  
  
Suddenly Bakura pops up covered from head to toe in chocolate. Bakura- Oh hey guys! Then Yami Bakura takes over. Yami Bakura- ALL CHOCOLATE IS MINE! MINE, MINE, MINE! Then he stopped and his mouth dropped open. It was as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Yami B(Bakura)- Am I seeing this! Two Giant Chocolate Bars, and a, a G-g-g- Giant Chocolate T-teddy Bear! Oh I'm so gonna eat those right now! Joey, Tristan, and Yugi all run. Yami B runs after them. Yami B-* Why are they running away from me! All I'm gonna do is eat them! Wait HOW are they running away from me. WEIRD!* Then Yugi Trips and his chocolate bear suit cracks in half. Yugi sits on the ground in a daze for a while. Yugi- Wow.. It was real chocolate! Joey- Really! Give me a break! Yugi- no It really is chocolate! Joey-Yeah I know Yug, so give me a break, ya know give me some. Haven't you ever seen the Kit Kat commercials! Yugi- Oh haha! I get it now! Yami B- No you don't silly mortal I get it now! Yami B picks up half of the Chocolate Teddy bear suit and runs off with it. Yugi-(crying) He took my chocolate teddy bear suit! Joey- keep crying yug all the more for me! Yugi- WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Flash back ends. Yugi- That was horrible. Joey- yeah Tristan- Bakura had the worst case of acne ever recorded! Joey- Yeah even Kaiba deserves to be warned about something like this! So Yugi runs toward Kaiba, Mokuba and Pegasus, But.....  
  
What happens next? Does Yugi get to Kaiba in time to warn him about Bakura? Who is Pegasus really? Find out all this and more in the next chapter that is already written out and just needs to be typed. Be warned: That could take days, weeks, months or even years.(but hopefully not) So how did everyone like it? This is my first ever fanfic! 


	2. The Gulibility Potion

Today my official spokesperson is gone. He has come down with raw steak pocks, a new and dangerous disease. However he is in the expert care of Dr. Tristan Taylor, so none of us need to worry about him. We have a substitute today. Would Mr. Mokuba Kaiba please step forward and do the disclaimer. Mokuba: OK, ummm what do I say? Pzanna: just tell them that I don't own Yugioh or any of the other characters from other movies or books or both that appear in this fanfic. Mokuba: OK what she said! Pzanna: You're a sly one Mokuba. Bakura: No I'm a sly one! Yami B: here I come Mokuba! Yami Bakura runs toward Mokuba and clobbers the poor child with a giant piece of raw steak. Mokuba: AAAAaaaaaahhhh! I'm getting red spots on my face and they smell like steak! Pzanna: Joey! I thought that you had made our Bakura and raw steak security system!. How did Bakura get in here! Joey: Umm, I guess that razor wire fences aren't made out of razors and wire hangers. Pzanna: Joey! All right that's it, Tea you are now our head of security. Tea: OK! Now while we take care of our 2 raw steak pocks victims to a clinic for treatment you can enjoy the fanfic. Yeah by the way we were at a cliffhanger where Yugi is going to warn Kaiba of Bakura's Chocolate obsession. So here it is.  
  
Joey: Even Kaiba deserves to be warned about that! So Yugi runs forward to warn Kaiba, Pegasus, and Mokuba, but. Yami Bakura gets there first. Yami Bakura looks at Mokuba, who is still holding the chocolate cards box. Yami Bakura- give up the chocolate mortal! Mokuba- Never! This belongs to Seto! Yami Bakura lunges for Mokuba but Seto stops him. As Kaiba and Yami Bakura are fighting, Pegasus grabs Mokuba who is still holding the cards and runs away. Kaiba sees this and tries to go but Yami Bakura pulls out his raw steak, and starts swinging it at Kaiba, preventing him from doing anything other than dodging the raw steak. Meanwhile Yugi is looking towards his millennium puzzle and saying, "Come out Yami! We need you!" So Yugi turns into Yami Yugi who goes and breaks up the fight (with Joey's help, because he's still shorter than everyone else even when Yami is out). Just as Yami Yugi and Joey get Kaiba and Yami Bakura off each other, Kaiba runs off after Pegasus and Mokuba. At the same time Tristen skips into the campsite dressed as Santa Clause minus the Beard. Tristen- Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Tea- What on earth are you doing?! Tristan- I'm creating a diversion so Yami B and Kaiba will stop fighting. Did it work? Joey- Well Bud it looks like you were a little late, for the fight and for Christmas! (This is taking place in the summer so Tristen could very well be early for Christmas) Mean while Pegasus and Mokuba with Kaiba hot on their trail, are headed deeper and deeper into the forest. Pegasus- Ha! That little fib I told Kaiba actually worked! I can't believe it! Mokuba- you lied! You made us believe you were are uncle! You must have the voice of Saruman. Suddenly Saruman pops up out of nowhere. Saruman- Actually Pegasus doesn't have the voice of Saruman. I just created a gullibility potion for you and Kaiba. It must have worked because you two believed every word he said. Mokuba- Wow! The real Saruman! Pleased to meet you sir! My name is-(he was interrupted) Saruman- Mokuba Kaiba, I know. And Seto Kaiba would do anything for you. Just the bait we need for our trap! Mokuba- Uh-Oh. Pegasus- you're telling him too much. Saruman- don't worry, he can't do anything about it once I've given him this sleeping draught. Saruman pours a red liquid down Mokuba's throat before he can do anything. Mokuba is out like a light.  
  
As Kaiba stumbles through the woods, hacking recklessly at anything in his path, he wonders how Pegasus could have tricked him into thinking he was his uncle. Kaiba-*How could he have fooled me like that! There is no way he is my uncle! I would have known! .. Or would I have? I was kinda little when I went to the orphan edge, maybe I forgot about  
  
Our story is shortly suspended at this point while the author, who can't stop looking at a gorgeous picture of Elijah Wood. You see, she is transfixed by his beautiful big blue eyes, and brown blond highlighted spiky hair. So she is attempting to draw a picture of him, while looking at his beautiful face.  
  
She has finished it. I wonder if anyone will know who it is. Well any way, we can get back to the story now.  
  
Lets just start over.  
  
As Kaiba stumbles through the woods hacking recklessly at anything in his path, he wonders how Pegasus could have tricked him into thinking he was his uncle. Kaiba-*How could he have fooled me like that! There is no way he is my uncle! I would have known! .. Or would I have? I was kinda little when I went to the orphan edge, maybe I forgot about some of my relatives. NO! I AM NOT RELATED TO PEGASUS! NO WAY! NO HOW! NO! NO! NO! I WILL NOT BE RELATED TO PEGASUS!  
  
Sorry about the little distraction up there.  
  
Also I will be posting wanted posters for that quote "steak wielding, mop head" Bakura. He is a dangerous man armed with a large steak. But beware he hides under his sweater, and English accent, and may look perfectly innocent until it is too late. You have been warned. I'm also looking for a new head of security, because, Bakura found Tea and now she has come down with the deadly disease the Steak Pocks. Don't worry we have top physicians researching all of our patients, and a cure will be found soon.  
  
I hope everyone liked it! Thanks a lot! It is a VERY short chapter. But it is better than nothing. The next chapter will be longer. A lot longer. It has to be or I'll never get the whole thing typed up. 


	3. Tomato Soup

Chapter 3 It appears that Tea was not a very good Bakura and Raw Steak head of security.  
  
She decided to put up REAL fence, and while doing so neglected to bring some guards with her, and she was taken hostage by Yami Bakura.  
  
We also have an update from our secret agent whose name cannot be revealed today, Malik says that Yami Bakura has found a Raw Steak Factory, and he has taken over it and made it his secret head quarters.  
  
Pzanna- Grandpa! You aren't supposed to tell them our secret agent is Malik! Can't we get a good spokes person for once!  
  
Grandpa- I'm sorry Pzanna. Can I still have a part in the story? Please!  
  
Pzanna- umm, maybe we'll give you a part towards the end, yah, don't worry it's coming. Cough, not, cough cough  
  
Grandpa- Oh yay!!! I get to be in a fanfic!! Hee hee hee!  
  
Granpa skips around the set of the news show thing.  
  
Pzanna - Eh hem, yes well let's get to the story, and by the way, I do not own Yugioh. But I own better stuff, so I'm not sad! Thank you everyone who reviewed!!! And next Chappie, we may have a security guard academy open up, so that every one will know how to fend off Yami Bakura!!!  
  
While the whole situation is going on with Kaiba, and Pegasus, Saruman, and Mokuba, Mai is sitting deep in thought. Then Joey walks over to her and waves his arm around in front of her face.  
  
Joey-Yoo-hoo! Mai, come back to earth, come home!  
  
Mai- Oh! Joey, come here I need to talk to you.  
  
Joey- Uh-Okay Mai.  
  
They go off to talk and Yugi, Tea, and Tristen all discuss what to do.  
  
Tea- we should go find Kaiba, he could need some help getting Mokuba back.. Again.  
  
Tristen- Yeah, but should we really? How do we know Pegasus doesn't have anything sneaky planned. .Again we don't, but we have to help them.  
  
Tea- All right, lets go get Joey and Mai.  
  
They walk over to the woods and find Joey and Mai about to kiss.  
  
Joey- So! What do you want guys?  
  
Yugi- well we are here to tell you we are going after the Kaiba brothers. again.  
  
Joey- (super enthusiastically) OK!! Lets go! Got to rescue them Kaiba brothers! Come on what are you waiting for?  
  
Tristen- Joey are you all right? I thought you hated Kaiba so why are you so anxious to go and save him all of a sudden?  
  
Mai- I think we should be going now, who knows what could be happening to Kaiba, or Mokuba?  
  
And so Mai and Joey start running hand in hand in the complete opposite direction Kaiba took.  
  
Tea- (trying not to laugh) Uh guys? You might want to go in the same direction Kaiba went!  
  
Mai and Joey- Oh right!  
  
They turn around and start running in the right way still hand in hand.  
  
Tristen, Yugi and Tea all start laughing hysterically.  
  
Joey and Mai stop.  
  
Mai turns around looking angry and embarrassed.  
  
Mai- Well really! Are you going to help us save Kaiba or are you going to sit there laughing all day!  
  
Yugi, Tristen, and Tea all stop laughing and start walking, holding in even more laughter.  
  
Just as they run into a very lost, confused and dirty Kaiba, Yugi can't suppress his laughter anymore. Once Yugi started laughing Tea and Tristen started laughing too. So Kaiba looks up to see Yugi, Tristen, and Tea all rolling on the ground laughing their heads off.  
  
He jumps up and begins to beat Yugi to a bloody pulp. Joey and Tristen jump in and save Yugi from certain doom.  
  
Now that Yugi, Tea, Tristen, Joey, Mai, and Kaiba are all together and Kaiba has calmed down some, and Yugi, and Tea, and, Tristen have got control of their laughter.  
  
Kaiba- so where do you think they went? I was kind of blindly blindly thrashing through the woods. I didn't really pay attention to where they went!  
  
Joey- well that was smart!  
  
Kaiba glares at Joey and looks ready to kill him. Tea- ok guys lets just keep looking for Mokuba.  
  
Yugi - Look I found some black hair! It must be Mokuba's  
  
Kaiba- Where?  
  
Yugi- Over there (Points in a direction)  
  
Kaiba immediately runs off in that direction.  
  
Tristen- Hey wait! That might not be Mokuba's hair! Kaiba! Come back!  
  
But he was gone.  
  
Now the group splits in two: Mai, and Joey go after Kaiba, and Yugi, Tea, and Tristen go after Pegasus and Mokuba.  
  
Kaiba runs off through the woods. As he goes he wonders why Mokuba's hair is so short, maybe it was some of his bangs. So he continues on, and the trail of Mokuba hair leads him to a cave.  
  
Mai and Joey, who started out with good intentions have decided to take a little break to catch their breath after running so hard.  
  
Pegasus, Mokuba, and Saruman are faced with a different problem. Yami Bakura has appeared and is chasing them for want of the chocolate cards.  
  
What happens next! Dah dun! What is in the cave Kaiba found, what will Yami Bakura do to Pegasus to get the chocolate cards, and what does this all have to do with the knights of Ni. 


	4. Bread

I don't own Yugioh, I thank all who have reviewed any of my stories ever! I love you all.  
  
I'm soo soo sorry I haven't updated this in sooo long!!!!  
  
Review, and there will definetly be more!  
  
As Kaiba cautiously enters the cave expecting an ambush he wonders what is waiting for him in the cave.  
  
He stops for a moment to think about this, then boldly charnges on.  
  
I have to save Mokuba *  
  
Suddenly in the midst of his thoughts he is interrupted by a fierce growl.  
  
Barely realizing what is running towards him, he knows he is in trouble, and runs for his life.  
  
Out in the sunlight he catches a glimpse of what is chasing him.  
  
So that's why that hair of Mokuba's was so short it wasn't Mokuba's hair at all! It was a bear!*  
  
So Kaiba running for his life doesn't notice Mai and Joey until he is far past them.  
  
But they notice him.  
  
They coiuld hear him since he left the cave.  
  
Sneaking a peak over the rock, that they hid behind Joey asks Mai; "Do you think he saw us?"  
  
Mai- "No, I don't but I wonder why he was running so fast?"  
  
Suddenly Kaiba appears.  
  
Kaiba- "You dummies! There is a bear coming this way! Get moving! (He spots lipstick on Joey's check, and puts two and two together) Alright Lover Boy, time to go!"  
  
Joey - "WHY YOU!!"  
  
Mai- "RUN A BEAR! RUN AAAAAAAAH!" (Mai runs off screaming)  
  
Joey- "Hey wait!" (runs after Mai)  
  
Kaiba- "aaaaaah!" (runs away too)  
  
Now we go back to Yugi and Tea, and Tristan.  
  
But that isn't too interesting, they are just running around the woods looking for Pegasus.  
  
Currently Pegsi has Mokuba tied to a tree, but apparently Saruman has a soft spot for small children.  
  
Mokuba- "Hey you! Let me down! Seto will find you! He'll get you! I know he will!"  
  
Pegasus- We should have duck taped his mouth shut.  
  
Saruman-Now Pegasus, is that really necessary? Here Mokuba, have a lollipop.  
  
Mokuba- OH! Tha- (Pegsi stuffs the lollipop into mokuba's mouth)  
  
Pegsi- now that's taken care of.  
  
Saruman- Watch out Pegasus! Don't look behind you!  
  
Pegasus- Why? (turns around) Aaaah!  
  
Pegasus screams in horror as Bakura comes running toward him swinging a HUGE raw steak!  
  
Suddenly there was a blinding pink flash.  
  
And we are back with Yugi and Tea, and Tristan.  
  
Who have presently given up the search and are rolling around on the ground laughing about Joey, and Mai.  
  
Suddenly they find themselves surrounded by black nights.  
  
OH NO! WHAT COULD BE HAPPENING!  
  
I am so incredibly sorry for not updating this sooner, it's been like forever, but I just couldn't do it, and there was so much going on, and all those other fanfics that popped up on me! But I'm back now. Funny how school energizes you to do things! Especially things other than school!  
  
Well I hope you like this!  
  
And I hope you review!  
  
Reviews are wonderful things.  
  
Just one happy little review motivated me to update 3 whole stories, and remove one that I have been planning to remove for months!  
  
So if you want things done! Then review, not just my fanfics, but any that you like.  
  
Love ya all!  
  
~*Pzanna*~ 


End file.
